X-Symantec-TimeoutProtection: 0 Return-Path: X-Original-To: info@ausheart.com.au Delivered-To: info@ausheart.com.au Received: from localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 34A242BBEA for ; Sun, 15 Apr 2007 09:24:14 +1000 (EST) Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au ([127.0.0.1]) by localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 16799-09 for ; Sun, 15 Apr 2007 09:24:01 +1000 (EST) Received-SPF: none (fathersonline.org: No applicable sender policy available) receiver=marlin.fishinternet.com.au; identity=mfrom; envelope-from="info@fathersonline.org"; helo=polyglot.com.au; client-ip=59.167.240.1 Received: from polyglot.com.au (eth5890.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net [59.167.240.1]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id EE2C52BBE9 for ; Sun, 15 Apr 2007 09:23:59 +1000 (EST) Received: from sydney ([127.0.0.1]) by polyglot.com.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.1830); Sun, 15 Apr 2007 09:23:58 +1000 Thread-Topic: The Importance of Friends Reply-To: Message-ID: thread-index: Acd+6/qSQAifEzvKRgO19W1RVE2HjA== From: To: Subject: The Importance of Friends Date: Sun, 15 Apr 2007 09:23:58 +1000 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_E0AD_01C77F3F.CC410970" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Exchange 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.2826 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 14 Apr 2007 23:23:58.0983 (UTC) FILETIME=[FA94F970:01C77EEB] X-TM-AS-Product-Ver: SMEX-7.5.0.1166-3.6.1039-15114.001 X-TM-AS-Result: No--12.880500-5.000000-31 X-TM-AS-User-Approved-Sender: No X-TM-AS-User-Blocked-Sender: No X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at fishinternet.com.au X-NAS-BWL: Found match for 'info@fathersonline.org' on the allowed list (2273 addresses, 0 domains) X-NAS-Classification: 0 X-NAS-MessageID: 11192 X-NAS-Validation: {FF825B7A-B161-40BD-90F8-3582DAE91A1E} This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_E0AD_01C77F3F.CC410970 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Unable to read this email? Please click here Issue 243 - 16th April, 2007 Go to our website Here * Hello Friend * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads * Special Feature * Thought of the Week * All You Need is Love * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * Help Us Hello Friend It is so easy to burn up energy getting angry about the things that irk us. Another trap is to become so overcome with the magnitude of the problems around us that we simply throw our hands up in the air, and give up. There is a distinct lack of progress made in pursuing either of the above options. All dads face these situations every day in their families. We can either lash out blindly against those who point out our weaknesses or acknowledge the truth of their criticism and retreat into our cave of inactivity. Recently I had a similar situation arise in my work in the Fatherhood Foundation and I was at a loss as to know what to do. Alan, who works at a community legal centre, and I presume is helping single fathers, wrote to the Fatherhood Foundation pointing out that our website is woefully out of date. The last posting was 2003/2004. He went on to articulate that we should not be on the web if we cannot update our website. The inference being that we are failing badly in our important work and that we really should question the legitimacy of our role as a non-profit harm prevention charity. When I read Alan's email, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. His criticism of our ability to update our website is absolutely justified. It is our Achilles heel. But . . . doesn't he know that we are doing our best? Doesn't he know that we receive no real government funding? Doesn't he know that we are carrying large personal debts because of our commitment to the cause? Doesn't he know that our Uni student friend who was updating our website for free had to move on, taking with him our ability to keep our site updated? Our choice has been, due to lack of funds, to keep active in our weekly help to fathers via email, phone and courses and sacrifice any ability to make forward motion on the web, even though this is vital to our future success. I have included Alan's email and my response for your perusal along with some very wise and encouraging replies from some trusted friends in the men's movement. Rather than reacting immediately and putting my foot in my mouth I thought I would share Alan's criticisms with others and get their opinion and advice. All the guys were brilliant but Tony Miller got to the heart of the problem. "How sad is it that once again we are derided for the good work we do. Warwick you need not defend what you do, 'If you hear that someone is speaking ill of you, instead of trying to defend yourself, you should say: 'He obviously does not know me very well, since there are so many other faults he could have mentioned'. Epictetus (c60-110AD) He then said to Alan, 'He has the right to criticise, who has the heart to help.' Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) . . . spare a thought for those groups working from the heart with little or no funding, fighting a funded opposition for a fair go." Mark Bourne from the Richard Hillman Foundation was also very encouraging: "How many other organisations have put out a weekly newsletter for so long and which other countries have a similar project? There may well be some, but I haven't seen any, and that's after nearly a decade in this ' human misery ' industry. Unfortunately, your problem is you care too much; about your family and about the world we are leaving for our children, so if you did throw in the towel you couldn't sleep." Paul Whyte's comments from Sydney Men's Network were also good: "I had to laugh at the comment that you got. It's down right silly. That is exactly the attitude that we are against. Hard, mean, judgemental, no assistance to get the work done, just expect to be served and you're garbage if the service is less than excellent." James Adams from Fathers4Equality was equally to the point: "Alan, Thankyou for looking at the "Fatherhood Foundation" It is one of hundreds of grass-roots groups in Australia, who are trying to make a difference. Sadly we have nothing but the smell of an oily rag to keep us going." Barry Williams, Wayne Butler, Ian Windsor, Dr James Turner were equally encouraging. 'a friend in need is a friend indeed'. My friends confirmed my feelings. Alan was right and wrong all at the same time. By sharing my problem with a few trusted friends I had spread the load, avoided an angry knee-jerk reaction on my part, received good counsel and not become paralysed with inactivity in the cone of silence. Lovework Develop friendships with other fathers and men you respect. You never know when you will need them. 'The friendless owner of the world is poor'. This is the only kind of poverty you can't afford. Yours for more friends Warwick Marsh PS We hope to have our new website working in the next couple of weeks providing we can raise the funds to do so. We are also looking for people who can keep us updated and help with site maintenance and supervision. Our goal is to build a virtual interactive web community/service for fathers and families that will be state-of-the-art that is easily updated and well able to accommodate the needs of the Fatherhood Foundation and our subscribers over the next 5 to 10 years. ___________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 31 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years to 14 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top Grandads The more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances. King Solomon back to top Laughter My wife and I got into a conversation about life and death, and the need for Living Wills. (Otherwise known as Powers of Attorney.) During the course of the conversation, I told her that I never wanted to exist in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and taking fluids from a bottle. She got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all my beer. back to top Single Dads Editor's Note: The Fatherhood Foundation abhors domestic violence of any kind and is all for protecting women. Having said that, single fathers are often unfairly accused of domestic violence and because of the strength of the myths surrounding these issues children then become separated from their fathers. Carey Roberts article goes a long way to debunking some of these myths. PROTECTING WOMEN An American Story By Carey Roberts March 17, 2007 NewsWithViews.com The Gender Warriors have discovered the perfect wedge issue, one that carries raw, visceral appeal with liberals and conservatives alike, and to a large swath of the American electorate. But there's a catch: For this issue to work, the truth must purged from general awareness. Researchers have to be re-educated, or if need be, cowed into silence. And the media must be goaded to cooperate. The issue is domestic violence. This area has become so strewn with Urban Legends that researchers have dubbed them the 'woozle effect.' Remember when Winnie-the-Pooh and Piglet went hunting and almost caught a woozle! Dr. Richard Gelles of the University of Pennsylvania is one of the best-known researchers in this field. Gelles recently published an article in Family Court Review that exposes many of these woozles. Here's a sampling: -- 'The Centers for Disease Control reports that domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women ages 15 to 44.' Interesting, but the CDC never said anything like that. -- 'According to the March of Dimes, battering during pregnancy is the leading cause of birth defects.' That factoid certainly came as a surprise to the March of Dimes. -- 'Female perpetrators of partner homicide serve longer jail sentences than males. Here's the truth: the average prison sentence for male offenders is 17 years, and for female murderers is 6 years. The woozles continue. This past November the Washington Times ran a front-page story that claimed, 'A 2005 U.N. Population Fund report found that 70% of married women in India were victims of beatings or rape.' The notion that 70% of Indian husbands are batterers or rapists defies reason or common sense. So on November 28 the Washington Times was compelled to admit the mistake, saying the United Nations 'does not have sufficient data' to make any such claim. Then there's the outright suppression of research findings, like one federally funded survey directed by the Kentucky Commission on Women. The interviews revealed that 38% of all violence consisted of unprovoked attacks by women on their male partners -- but that key statistic was omitted from the final report. The cover-up was not discovered until other researchers obtained a copy of the raw data. And recently the U.S. Department of Justice issued a grant solicitation that specifically prohibited any 'proposals for research on intimate partner violence against, or stalking of males of any age.' How's that for good ol' fashioned sex bias' But scientists are still reluctant to kow-tow to the whims of political correctness. So extraordinary measures may become necessary. Dr. Suzanne Steinmetz knows this from first-hand experience. Her research at the University Delaware revealed that women are as likely to resort to partner violence as men. In response, partisans launched a year-long intimidation campaign. The organizers of one conference were threatened that 'if they allowed me to speak, the place would be bombed - I also received a couple of phone calls saying it wouldn't be safe for my children to go out,' Steinmetz later revealed. Murray Straus of the University of New Hampshire, honored with many awards for his research on family violence, has been shunned for not toeing the ideological line. He has been threatened, heckled, and booed to the point of preventing him from speaking at several college forums. Another target of the tyranny of ideological conformity is Erin Pizzey. Founder of the first women's shelter in England, Pizzey published a book that revealed 62% of the women at her shelter had physically attacked their male partners. The result-The police had to be summoned to escort her on the book tour, and she was once shot at. All this, of course, in the name of stopping violence against women. Some would say the distortions and the threats are justified. After all, the domestic violence industry has succeeded in leveraging persons-fears into a $1 billion-a-year campaign devoted to protecting women from abuse. Why take issue with that? But what if the truth came out that our country's War on Domestic Abuse was flatly ineffective in reducing violence, that it ignored the wishes of victims, and that it sometimes placed women at greater risk of abuse! And what if it became known that our nation's domestic violence laws were violating the civil rights of millions and were needlessly breaking up families, forcing children to grow up in single-parent households! What would we do then? 2007 Carey Roberts - All Rights Reserved Carey Roberts is an analyst and commentator on political correctness. His best-known work was an expos on Marxism and radical feminism. Mr. Roberts' work has been cited on the Rush Limbaugh show. He is a regular contributor to www.NewsWithViews.com back to top Special Feature NAIL IN THE FENCE Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence. (Most importantly the last sentence.) There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there." A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us." PLEASE FORGIVE ME if I have ever left a hole back to top Thought of the Week Everybody needs somebody sometime! Dean Martin back to top All You Need is Love SEPARATE WAYS Ricky Trevino He was never much for shopping. But you'd always see him with her at the store. She was never much for football. She'd sit there and pretend she wasn't bored You saw one, you saw the other. Like a two lane Texas highway straight and true. But just over that horizon the road that they were riding split in two. Separate ways, his and hers A love that went from great, to good, to bad, to worse Separate lives, what a waste The last thing they ever did together was go their separate ways It really scares me baby. How easily that good love slipped away. Let's remember that forever is something that we should work at everyday. And after all those years together, it killed me when I saw their love go bad. So let's hold on to each other and don't end up like my mother and my dad. Separate ways his and hers. A love that went from great, to good, to bad, to worse. Separate lives, what a waste. The last thing they ever did together was go their separate ways Yeah the last thing they ever did together Will haunt me forever and ever Let's promise one another that we'll never go our separate ways. back to top News & Info Men's Fraternity Dr Robert Lewis Will be speaking in Australia at the following dates and locations Sunshine Coast -Friday 20th April -9:00am to 12:00pm Brisbane -Friday 20th April -7:00pm to 10:00pm Gold Coast -Saturday 21st April -9:00am to 12:00pm Burwood -Monday 23rd April -9:00am to 12:00pm Sydenham -Monday 23rd April -7:00pm to 10:00pm Geelong -Tuesday 24th April -9:00am to 12:00pm North Sydney -Thursday 26th April -9:00am to 12:00pm Castle Hill -Thursday 26th April -7:00pm to 10:00pm South Sydney -Saturday 28th April -8:30am to 11:30am Wollongong - Saturday 28th April - Afternoon For further information: http://www.crsforums.info/mensfraternity * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Regional Men's Day - 28th April 2007 The Annual Illawarra/South Coast Regional Men's Day will be held at the Yallah Roadhouse on Saturday 28th April 2007. Speakers will be: In the morning: Alan Stewart - previous director of Anglican Youth Works. In the afternoon: Robert M. Lewis - founder of Men's Fraternity, Little Rock, Arkansas, USA, author of 'Raising Modern Day Knights' and other books on men's issues. For more information, contact John Cornford at Albion Park Ph: 02 42562103 Also, go to the website www.gongmensday.net for brochure and on-line registration * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course Course Information Night - 10 week course commencing 5th Sept 07 Wednesday 2nd May 2007 7 pm - 9 pm Gracepoint Baptist Church 8-10 Soudan St Randwick Light refreshments Please phone 02 9399 5959 for bookings. 10 week course will commence 5th September 2007 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Ballarat Men's Conference May 4-5, 2007 65 Albert Street Sebastopol, Vic. 3356 Speakers: Ian Richardson & Warwick Marsh For more details phone: 03 5336 1166 http://www.bcc.org.au/mensministry.aspx * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Smacking is not Child Abuse http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21523264-5007146,00.html _________________________________________________________ Letters Dear Fatherhood Foundation I work at a Community Legal Centre. I found your website while researching on single fathers and family law. It has quite a lot of information, but it's all related to the last federal election in 2004 and even goes as far as mentioning the now defunct Mark Latham! The "Fatherhood and values checklist" could be a valuable source, but is clearly way out of date. It's disappointing to find that you've not updated for at least three years, and I'm wondering why as if you want to present yourselves as a viable source of information ( and let's face it there is a pressing need for this), then you're not doing the job very well at all. There is no way I will be referring clients to your website. I look forward to seeing your site updated - if you don't, you shouldn't be on the net. Alan A rare reply from the editor: Dear Alan Maybe you're right. Maybe we/I should admit defeat pack up and just go away and leave the work up to the well funded idiots and cashed up father-hating family-based organisations that the government funds to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars. No, billions of dollars!!!! Maybe I will wake up and realise its all a bad dream that I have been part of for the last several years churning out the weekly fathersonline, doing fatherhood courses, counselling men who are about to commit suicide, going down to parliament and making a stand for truth, justice and the things that really matter. I haven't got the money to renew my website properly nor have I got the money for very much else besides. Food is also a pressing issue for a father with four children still at home. Time is also a problem when you are trying to do the impossible with nothing. I thought I might copy your gracious email in on a few of my friends in the men's movement with your kind permission to see if they might have any further comments on my lack of activity and inability? What do you think guys??? Maybe Alan is right. We don't have the money or the staff or the necessary expertise. We are always relying on friends and freebies and eventually we run out of those. None of us can do the job properly so let's just give up now. Call it quits and go get a life for ourselves. Kind Regards Warwick Marsh * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Fatherhood Foundation Some of you would know I am going to be home schooling my son for the rest of this year. I created a blog to journal the process. If you are interested to see my first entry go to: http://manlyhomeschooler.blogspot.com/ Regards Ian back to top Dad's Prayer Dear God Help me know when not to go it alone. Help me to know when I should call up my friends. Help me listen to advice and be humble enough to ask for it and put it into action. Help me to ask my family too, because they know me better than I know myself. They have to live with me all the time and sometimes even that is too much. back to top Help Us Click here for more information about us Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity. Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm. The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top Click Here to Unsubscribe ------=_NextPart_000_E0AD_01C77F3F.CC410970 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Fatherhood Foundation
Unable to read this email? Please click here
Issue 243 - 16th April, 2007 Go to our website Here


Hello Friend

 

 

It is so easy to burn up energy getting angry about the things that irk us. Another trap is to become so overcome with the magnitude of the problems around us that we simply throw our hands up in the air, and give up. There is a distinct lack of progress made in pursuing either of the above options.

 

All dads face these situations every day in their families. We can either lash out blindly against those who point out our weaknesses or acknowledge the truth of their criticism and retreat into our cave of inactivity.

 

Recently I had a similar situation arise in my work in the Fatherhood Foundation and I was at a loss as to know what to do. Alan, who works at a community legal centre, and I presume is helping single fathers, wrote to the Fatherhood Foundation pointing out that our website is woefully out of date. The last posting was 2003/2004. He went on to articulate that we should not be on the web if we cannot update our website. The inference being that we are failing badly in our important work and that we really should question the legitimacy of our role as a non-profit harm prevention charity.

 

When I read Alan's email, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. His criticism of our ability to update our website is absolutely justified. It is our Achilles heel. But . . . doesn't he know that we are doing our best? Doesn't he know that we receive no real government funding? Doesn't he know that we are carrying large personal debts because of our commitment to the cause? Doesn't he know that our Uni student friend who was updating our website for free had to move on, taking with him our ability to keep our site updated?

 

Our choice has been, due to lack of funds, to keep active in our weekly help to fathers via email, phone and courses and sacrifice any ability to make forward motion on the web, even though this is vital to our future success.  I have included Alan's email and my response for your perusal along with some very wise and encouraging replies from some trusted friends in the men's movement. Rather than reacting immediately and putting my foot in my mouth I thought I would share Alan's criticisms with others and get their opinion and advice. All the guys were brilliant but Tony Miller got to the heart of the problem.

 

"How sad is it that once again we are derided for the good work we do. Warwick you need not defend what you  do, 'If you hear that someone is speaking ill of you, instead of trying to  defend yourself, you should say: 'He obviously does not know me very well,  since there are so many other faults he could have mentioned'. Epictetus  (c60-110AD)

 

He then said to Alan, 'He has the right to criticise, who has the heart to help.' Abraham  Lincoln (1809-1865) . . . spare a thought for those groups working from the heart with little or no funding, fighting a funded opposition for a fair go."

 

Mark Bourne from the Richard Hillman Foundation was also very encouraging:

 

"How many other organisations have put out a weekly newsletter for so long and which other countries have a similar project? There may well be some, but I haven't seen any, and that's after nearly a decade in this ' human misery ' industry.

 

Unfortunately, your problem is you care too much; about your family and about the world we are leaving for our children, so if you did throw in the towel you couldn't sleep."

 

Paul Whyte's comments from Sydney Men's Network were also good:

 

"I had to laugh at the comment that you got. It's down right silly. That is exactly the attitude that we are against. Hard, mean, judgemental, no assistance to get the work done, just expect to be served and you're garbage if the service is less than excellent."

 

James Adams from Fathers4Equality was equally to the point:

 

"Alan, Thankyou for looking at the "Fatherhood Foundation" It is one of hundreds of grass-roots groups in Australia, who are trying to make a difference. Sadly we have nothing but the smell of an oily rag to keep us going."

 

Barry Williams, Wayne Butler, Ian Windsor, Dr James Turner were equally encouraging. 'a friend in need is a friend indeed'. My friends confirmed my feelings. Alan was right and wrong all at the same time. By sharing my problem with a few trusted friends I had spread the load, avoided an angry knee-jerk reaction on my part, received good counsel and not become paralysed with inactivity in the cone of silence.

 

Lovework

 

Develop friendships with other fathers and men you respect. You never know when you will need them. 'The friendless owner of the world is poor'. This is the only kind of poverty you can't afford.

 

Yours for more friends

Warwick Marsh

 

PS We hope to have our new website working in the next couple of weeks providing we can raise the funds to do so. We are also looking for people who can keep us updated and help with site maintenance and supervision. Our goal is to build a virtual interactive web community/service for fathers and families that will be state-of-the-art  that is easily updated and well able to accommodate the needs of the Fatherhood Foundation and our subscribers over the next 5 to 10 years.

 ___________________________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 31 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 26 years to 14 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.

back to top

Grandads

 

 

The more wise counsel you follow,

the better your chances.

 

King Solomon

back to top

Laughter

My wife and I got into a conversation about life and death, and the need for Living Wills. (Otherwise known as Powers of Attorney.)

During the course of the conversation, I told her that I never wanted to exist in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and taking fluids from a bottle.

She got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all my beer.

back to top

Single Dads

 

Editor's Note:

The Fatherhood Foundation abhors domestic violence of any kind and is all for protecting women. Having said that, single fathers are often unfairly accused of domestic violence and because of the strength of the myths surrounding these issues children then become separated from their fathers. Carey Roberts article goes a long way to debunking some of these myths.

 

 

 

PROTECTING WOMEN

An American Story

 

By Carey Roberts

March 17, 2007

NewsWithViews.com

 

The Gender Warriors have discovered the perfect wedge issue, one that carries raw, visceral appeal with liberals and conservatives alike, and to a large swath of the American electorate.

 

But there's a catch: For this issue to work, the truth must purged from general awareness.

 

Researchers have to be re-educated, or if need be, cowed into silence. And the media must be goaded to cooperate.

 

The issue is domestic violence.

 

This area has become so strewn with Urban Legends that researchers have dubbed them the 'woozle effect.' Remember when Winnie-the-Pooh and Piglet went hunting and almost caught a woozle!

 

Dr. Richard Gelles of the University of Pennsylvania is one of the best-known researchers in this field. Gelles recently published an article in Family Court Review that exposes many of these woozles.  Here's a sampling:

 

-- 'The Centers for Disease Control reports that domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women ages 15 to 44.' Interesting, but the CDC never said anything like that.

-- 'According to the March of Dimes, battering during pregnancy is the leading cause of birth defects.' That factoid certainly came as a surprise to the March of Dimes.

-- 'Female perpetrators of partner homicide serve longer jail sentences than males. Here's the truth: the average prison sentence for male offenders is 17 years, and for female murderers is 6 years.

 

The woozles continue.

 

This past November the Washington Times ran a front-page story that claimed, 'A 2005 U.N. Population Fund report found that 70% of married women in India were victims of beatings or rape.'

 

The notion that 70% of Indian husbands are batterers or rapists defies reason or common sense. So on November 28 the Washington Times was compelled to admit the mistake, saying the United Nations 'does not have sufficient data' to make any such claim.

Then there's the outright suppression of research findings, like one federally funded survey directed by the Kentucky Commission on Women. The interviews revealed that 38% of all violence consisted of unprovoked attacks by women on their male partners -- but that key statistic was omitted from the final report. The cover-up was not discovered until other researchers obtained a copy of the raw data.

 

And recently the U.S. Department of Justice issued a grant solicitation that specifically prohibited any 'proposals for research on intimate partner violence against, or stalking of males of any age.' How's that for good ol' fashioned sex bias'

 

But scientists are still reluctant to kow-tow to the whims of political correctness. So extraordinary measures may become necessary.

 

Dr. Suzanne Steinmetz knows this from first-hand experience. Her research at the University Delaware revealed that women are as likely to resort to partner violence as men. In response, partisans launched a year-long intimidation campaign. The organizers of one conference were threatened that 'if they allowed me to speak, the place would be bombed - I also received a couple of phone calls saying it wouldn't be safe for my children to go out,' Steinmetz later revealed.

 

Murray Straus of the University of New Hampshire, honored with many awards for his research on family violence, has been shunned for not toeing the ideological line. He has been threatened, heckled, and booed to the point of preventing him from speaking at several college forums.

 

Another target of the tyranny of ideological conformity is Erin Pizzey. Founder of the first women's shelter in England, Pizzey published a book that revealed 62% of the women at her shelter had physically attacked their male partners. The result-The police had to be summoned to escort her on the book tour, and she was once shot at. 

 

All this, of course, in the name of stopping violence against women.

 

Some would say the distortions and the threats are justified. After all, the domestic violence industry has succeeded in leveraging persons-fears into a $1 billion-a-year campaign devoted to protecting women from abuse. Why take issue with that?

 

But what if the truth came out that our country's War on Domestic Abuse was flatly ineffective in reducing violence, that it ignored the wishes of victims, and that it sometimes placed women at greater risk of abuse!

 

And what if it became known that our nation's domestic violence laws were violating the civil rights of millions and were needlessly breaking up families, forcing children to grow up in single-parent households!

 

What would we do then?

 

2007 Carey Roberts - All Rights Reserved

Carey Roberts is an analyst and commentator on political correctness. His best-known work was an expos on Marxism and radical feminism. Mr. Roberts' work has been cited on the Rush Limbaugh show.  He is a regular contributor to www.NewsWithViews.com

back to top

Special Feature

 

NAIL IN THE FENCE

Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.

(Most importantly the last sentence.)

 

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.

His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.

Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down.

He discovered it was easier to hold his temper

than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.

He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

 

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the  hand and led him to the fence.

He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence.

The fence will never be the same.

When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.

You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.

It won't matter how many times you say I'm  sorry, the wound is still there."

A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Friends are very rare jewels, indeed.

They make you smile and encourage you to succeed.

They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us."

 

 

PLEASE FORGIVE ME if I have ever left a hole

back to top

Thought of the Week

Everybody needs somebody sometime!

 

Dean Martin

 

back to top

All You Need is Love

 

SEPARATE WAYS

Ricky Trevino 

 

He was never much for shopping.

But you'd always see him with her at the store.

She was never much for football.

She'd sit there and pretend she wasn't bored

You saw one, you saw the other.

Like a two lane Texas highway straight and true.

But just over that horizon the road that they were riding split in two.

 

Separate ways, his and hers

A love that went from great, to good, to bad, to worse

Separate lives, what a waste

The last thing they ever did together was go their separate ways

 

It really scares me baby.

How easily that good love slipped away.

Let's remember that forever is something that we should work at everyday.

And after all those years together, it killed me when I saw their love go bad.

So let's hold on to each other and don't end up like my mother and my dad.

 

Separate ways his and hers.

A love that went from great, to good, to bad, to worse.

Separate lives, what a waste.

The last thing they ever did together was go their separate ways

 

Yeah the last thing they ever did together

Will haunt me forever and ever

Let's promise one another that we'll never go our separate ways.

back to top

News & Info

 

Men's Fraternity

Dr Robert Lewis

Will be speaking in Australia at the following dates and locations

 

Sunshine Coast -Friday 20th April -9:00am to 12:00pm

Brisbane -Friday 20th April -7:00pm to 10:00pm

Gold Coast -Saturday 21st April -9:00am to 12:00pm

Burwood -Monday 23rd April -9:00am to 12:00pm

Sydenham -Monday 23rd April -7:00pm to 10:00pm

Geelong -Tuesday 24th April -9:00am to 12:00pm

North Sydney -Thursday 26th April -9:00am to 12:00pm

Castle Hill -Thursday 26th April -7:00pm to 10:00pm

South Sydney -Saturday 28th April -8:30am to 11:30am

Wollongong - Saturday 28th April - Afternoon

 

For further information:

http://www.crsforums.info/mensfraternity

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Regional Men's Day - 28th April 2007

 

The Annual Illawarra/South Coast Regional Men's Day will be held at the Yallah Roadhouse on Saturday 28th April 2007.

 

Speakers will be:

In the morning: Alan Stewart - previous director of Anglican Youth Works.

In the afternoon: Robert M. Lewis - founder of Men's Fraternity, Little Rock, Arkansas, USA, author of 'Raising Modern Day Knights' and other books on men's issues.

 

For more information, contact John Cornford at Albion Park  Ph: 02 42562103

Also, go to the website www.gongmensday.net for brochure and on-line registration

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

 

'Good to Great' Fatherhood Mentoring Course

 

Course Information Night - 10 week course commencing 5th Sept 07

Wednesday 2nd May 2007

7 pm - 9 pm

Gracepoint Baptist Church

8-10 Soudan St

Randwick

 

Light refreshments

Please phone 02 9399 5959 for bookings.

10 week course will commence 5th September 2007

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Ballarat Men's Conference

May 4-5, 2007

65 Albert Street

Sebastopol, Vic. 3356

 

Speakers: Ian Richardson & Warwick Marsh

For more details phone: 03 5336 1166

 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Smacking is not Child Abuse

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21523264-5007146,00.html

 

_________________________________________________________

 

Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

I work at a Community Legal Centre. I found your website while researching on single fathers and family law.

 

It has quite a lot of information, but it's all related to the last federal election in 2004 and even goes as far as mentioning the now defunct Mark Latham!

 

 The   "Fatherhood and values checklist" could be a valuable source, but is clearly way out of date.

 

It's disappointing to find that you've not updated for at least three years, and I'm wondering why as if you want to present yourselves as a viable source of information ( and let's face it there is a pressing need for this), then you're not doing the job very well at all. There is no way I will be referring clients to your website.

 

I look forward to seeing your site updated - if you don't, you shouldn't be on the net.

 

Alan

 

A rare reply from the editor:

 

Dear Alan

 

Maybe you're right. Maybe we/I should admit defeat pack up and just go away and leave the work up to the well funded idiots and cashed up father-hating family-based organisations that the government funds to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars. No, billions of dollars!!!!

 

Maybe I will wake up and realise its all a bad dream that I have been part of for the last several years churning out the weekly fathersonline, doing fatherhood courses, counselling men who are about to commit suicide, going down to parliament and making a stand for truth, justice and  the things that really matter. I haven't got the money to renew my website properly nor have I got the money for very much else besides. Food is also a pressing issue for a father with four children still at home. Time is also a problem when you are trying to do the impossible with nothing.

 

I thought I might copy your gracious email in on a few of my friends in the men's movement with your kind permission to see if they might have any further comments on my lack of activity and inability?

 

What do you think guys??? Maybe Alan is right. We don't have the money or the staff or the necessary expertise. We are always relying on friends and freebies and eventually we run out of those. None of us can do the job properly so let's just give up now. Call it quits and go get a life for ourselves.

 

Kind Regards

Warwick Marsh

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

Some of you would know I am going to be home schooling my son for the rest of this year. I created a blog to journal the process. If you are interested to see my first entry go to: http://manlyhomeschooler.blogspot.com/

 

Regards

Ian

back to top

Dad's Prayer

 

 

 

 

 

Dear God

 

Help me know when not to go it alone.

Help me to know when I should call up my friends.

Help me listen to advice

and be humble enough to ask for it and put it into action.

Help me to ask my family too,

because they know me better than I know myself.

They have to live with me all the time and

sometimes even that is too much.

back to top

Help Us

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm.

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend.  If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading.

back to top


------=_NextPart_000_E0AD_01C77F3F.CC410970--